Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Going Through Hell
This note was inspired by a new friend Celisa
Sometimes it is that one life altering situation that send us whilrling into a tailspin of unforseen misery. A death,car crash,unpaid tickets,suspended license,business venture gone sour,a break up, a betrayal by a love interest or a friend or even worse a relative....etc..the list is endless but devastating all the same.
When my daughter was almost 2 yrs old her father and I broke up and it was not pretty,around that time I had lost the friendship of a few of my lifelong childhood friends,my dear Aunt Melda was dying of cancer and I was her caregiver.Bills were piling high and no money was coming in. And I was battling losing hair and brittle bones due to not absorbing vitamins and a poor diet. It couldn't get much darker than that.Even though I still had some good friends left and my family. I felt completley alone.
I was going through "HELL". I was depressed, unmotivated and it felt like I was never going to get out of the fiery pit. I even wanted to completely give up and allow the flames to engulf me. How crazy is that? I stopped moving and allowed myself to stay in “hell”, despite the fact that I needed to move forward to get myself out of hell.??? I even suspected that I liked living in hell....sad but true,complete utter madness,I know. But I think what happened was I was staying down for so long that living in it was getting comfortable,for all the complaining I was doing, it was consistent. I thought i would never ever recover or go back to being my fun loving vivacious flirtacious self.
It was only when I had finally realized,I am my daughters example,she will learn from me how to deal with disappointments,let downs,rejection and so I didn't want for her ever to wallow in sorrow ,to wither and die before she is in full bloom.
A man was not the end and all to my existence and I was happy before I met my so called friends and I realized i had to go thorugh whatever trials and tribulations regarding the love thing,so I could recognize my King when I saw him,i know he is being pprepared for me by my creator for i am a loving affectionate creature and I need and want love but I am now cautious and my thrid eye is wide open. I am willing to live again and put my big chubby foot forward
I am Lynx Garcia and I am choosing to leave the city of death,of physical death,spirtual death and mental death. I choose life. i now reside at number 1,Vibrant Blvd on the corner of Life in the center of the city of wellness. I am your reflection..rise! The Most High is with you and I